Offensive Oneliners

1. I don't hate you, I just need someone to take my anger out on.
2. I don't like to repeat things, so listen carefully the first six times
3. I drink to make other people interesting
4. I have a picture of u, I think its very nice, I put it under my bed... 2 scare away the mice!
5. I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it
6. I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it!
7. English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
8. Everybody has the right to be stupid but your breaking the rules!
9. Everyone likes a little ass, but no one likes a smart ass
10. Fat people are harder to kidnap
11. First law of science: don't spit into the wind
12. Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss
13. Girls are like phones, we like to be held and talked to but if you press the wrong buttons you'll be disconnected
14. God bless Atheism
15. God created man first because you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece!
16. Good Girls are Bad girls that don't get caught
17. Hate: A special kind of love given to people who suck