Question & Answer About Lawyers

Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.

Q: Do you know how to save a drowning laywer?
A1: Take your foot off his head.
A2: No. -- Good!

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit?
A: The bucket.

Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
A: There was an empty seat.

Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up his ass.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand

Q. Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
A. From chasing parked ambulances.

Q. Where can you find a good lawyer?
A. In the cemetary

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A. A gigolo only screws one person at a time.

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A. A vampire only sucks blood at night.

Q. Why to lawyers wear neckties?
A. To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.

Q. What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A. When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.

Q. How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.