Short Marriage Jokes

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married
and wish you were dead.

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At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

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A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted".
Next day, she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine!"

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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

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A woman is incomplete until she is married.
Then she is finished.

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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don’t know son, I’m still paying."

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-A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?
"Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."

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- Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."

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- Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

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- If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say — talk in your sleep.

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- Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

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- First guy says, "My wife’s an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You’re lucky, mine’s still alive."

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- A Woman’s Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, for his moods.
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I’ll just beat him to death"