Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi Oi Oi

A New Zealander, an Aussie and a South African were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled carton of beer. All of a sudden, Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the beer, they were sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to succesfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It’s my first wife’s birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The South African was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The South African had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The New Zealander was next up, and after watching the scene, said: "Choice! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again.

The man from Australia was the last one up, but before the Aussie could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said:
- "You are from a most beautiful country, your Cricket team is the best in the world, your footballers are terrific and your women are very sexy. For this, may have two wishes!".

- "Thanks mate, your Most Royal and Merciful Highness", The Aussie replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

- "Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave" the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.

- "Please tie the New Zealander to my back."