Logic and the English language

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let’s face it English is a stupid language.

There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England.
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted, But if we examine its paradoxes we find that

Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from
Guinea nor is it a pig
If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn’t the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?

Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?

Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down

And in which you fill in a form By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn’t a race at all)
That is why

When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible

And why it is that when I wind up my watch

It starts

But when I wind up this observation

It ends.

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