The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: She's having triplets.
Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.

Good: Your wife is not talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
Ugly: She's a lawyer.

Good: Your son is finally maturing.
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
Ugly: So are you.

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several pornographic movies hidden there.
Ugly: You're in them.

Good: Your son understands fashion.
Bad: He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than your wife.

Good: Your daughter got a new job.
Bad: As a hooker.
Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do.