The Benefits of Getting Older

1. You can eat dinner at 4.00.

2. Your investment in health insurance is finally beiginning to pay off.

3. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

4. It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.

5. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

6. Your eyes won't get much worse.

7. You sing along with the elevator music.

8. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

9. Your ears are more hairy than your head.

10. People who call at 9p.m. ask, "Did I wake you?"