A passer-by noticed an old lady sitting on her front step:"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look! What is your secret for such a long, happy life?"
"I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day", she said.
"Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends I pop a huge number of pills and do no exercise at all."
"This is absolutely amazing at your age", says the passer-by. "How old are you?"
"Twenty four"!!!
“I admire addicts. In a world where everybody is waiting for some bline, random disaster, or some sudden disease, the addict has the comfort of knowing what will most likely wait for him down the road. He's taken some control over his ultimate fate, and his addiction keeps the cause of death from being a total surprise.” - Chuck Palahniuk
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